Expect your resolve to be challenged by emotional ups and downs. Temptation, getting depressed, becoming frustrated or disinterested can knock you off the path. If you are prepared in advance for the fight, you will be able to get back on the path as quickly as possible.
Prepare for failure by learning visualization skills, self-encouragement, creative relaxation, avoiding ‘should’ statements, making resolute decisions and reaffirming your commitments. With these skills you will escape the failure cycle. When you do, life will be a lot more fun. The little things won’t bother you so much. You will take the ups and downs of life in stride. You may stumble, but you won’t fall.
Overcoming the Failure Effect
So you blew it. If you accomplish only a few of these steps, you will start to feel better. Discouragement due to failure is hard to fight; you will want to give up. So just try as best you can. If you can get started, your emotions will come in line and it will get easier. You will win over donuts, joints, cigarettes, beer, burgers and coffee. It is a matter of using the skills. Make it a brain workout. Get focused, get determined, pump your lungs with oxygen, and say it with determination. Do five sets of “I am not a failure.” Do six sets of “I don’t have to be perfect. I can make mistakes.” Do 12 reps of “I have nothing to prove to this world.” Put energy behind the message; it has to get all the way to the heart.
Here are seven steps to break you from the habit of feeling like a failure.
- Start by putting the emphasis on what you have accomplished.”I have done really well so far on my diet. I am becoming better disciplined. This is just a minor setback. I can overcome this.” Let it build as a feeling. This is the hardest part because guilt causes tunnel vision.Get rid of guilt. “I can make mistakes. I don’t have to be perfect.”This only proves that you are human.
- See the failure as a bad decision. “It would have been better if I had not____________.” Regret blowing your diet. Feel bad about the decision. Let the feeling build. This is not guilt, this is the desire to change. See what you have lost by choosing to indulge. Let your sadness build your desire to get back on track.
- Get angry. You are not going to be pushed around. This is it. You’ve had enough. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Get storming mad at what tempted you.
- Visualize the two pictures in your mind: you are blowing it and feeling bad. Let it build as a feeling of regret. Then visualize you being successful and feeling good about it. Visualize what you wished you had done. Visualize you are doing the right thing and feeling good about it. Let it build as a desire.
- Think of all the reasons why you do not want to eat. For example:Donuts are full of fat, white flour, salt, sugar and food additives. They just taste good and that is it. Let it build as a feeling of determination that you will not eat them any more.
- Why do you want to eat nutritiously? Remind yourself of those reasons. It is your heart’s desire to eat healthy, so you can enjoy a vibrant life. Let it build as a feeling of desire.
- You are forgiven. You have forgiven yourself. Refuse to be down. It is in the past. Time to get on with life. Shake yourself up. Create good emotions: “I feel joy. I feel peace. I feel love.” You are a fighter, not a quitter.
Rebuild Determination
- “I can make mistakes. I don’t have to be perfect.”
- “I will fail. It is inevitable. I need to take it in stride and get back on track. Each success will have several failures.”
- “I am in control. Even if I slip in my commitment, it was a decision I made. I may feel out of control and everything is hopeless, but it is not true. I am in control.”
- “So what, this is not the end of the world. It is a minor thing. Everyone makes mistakes. I don’t always fail. I will decide what I am going to do about this. “
- Visualize yourself coming out of the depression and being happy getting back on track.
- Review a list of the things at which you have been successful.
- Spiritual Encouragement
- “I have so much for which to be thankful.”
- “I will grow through this pain. I am suffering. I do feel hurt. But I am coming out of it. There is a lesson in this. This pain is making me stronger.”
Rebuilding Determination
Failure can challenge us to try again or smash our self-worth. It can create determination or erode what resolve we have. We can use the failure to dig into our character and pull out strength, or lose all hope. The easy way is to give up. We stop trying so we won’t get hurt again. All of your energy is sapped. We feel hopeless. But it is at this very point where victory is won. This is the point of faith. When all hope is gone, we can draw on the deepest strength and use it to build the determination to try again.
The effect of failure distorts our thinking. It is like entering a dark tunnel. We can’t see our goals or even remember why they were important. We tell ourselves, “so what, it never really mattered.” But, we are lying to ourselves. Don’t let yourself get away with it. Remind yourself of the value of your goals. Build desire and enthusiasm. Tell yourself why it is important. Don’t get mad at you, get mad at the behavior. Where is your fighting spirit? Are you going to sit back and take it? Are you going to let a stupid little failure push you around? You’re tougher than that!
Write out your goals and what you want to accomplish. Enthuse yourself about your goals by visualizing you achieving them. Make achieving them feel pleasurable. See the things that will tempt you from your goals and create a feeling of revulsion as you think of them. Spend time building the desire to achieve.
We spend so much of our life on the little useless details. We easily become sidetracked. We forget what our goals are and lose enthusiasm. Put your energy toward what is important. You need to invest time in encouraging yourself to move forward. When you feel like giving up, remember where you are going and why you are going there.
Excerpt by permission from the book Eating in Freedom, by Tom Coghill, Compulsive.ws The Ultimate E-Book Package that can be purchased below. No questions, money back guarantee if you do not receive the weight loss results you seek.
These books have brought freedom to 1000′s of people. No fancy secret knowledge, just methods to change how you think, for when you change how you think, you change how you eat. Once you get your diet and thinking to this point, it becomes a lifestyle; then you will naturally want the foods that are good for you.
